Saturday, October 28, 2006

First Page Challenge!

Julie is challenging her fellow romance writers to show how they create character and conflict from the first page. Honestly, I don't think this hard when I write. But luckily, it seems to have worked for me.

COOKING UP A STORM

The gunmetal gray sky outside his office window mocked him. Cameron Price reminded himself that the Internet claimed it rained more in New York than here in Seattle, but that little tidbit hadn’t kept the leaden sky from unloading its fury each time he stepped outside.
He’s a fish out of water. He doesn’t want to be in Seattle, so why is he?

He needed to like it here. Maybe if he focused on the good. In the summer it would be beautiful, but he had to get through November without going mad. And the coffee tasted better, though he couldn’t decipher the way people ordered it. At least he got to drive a great car and live in a big house. But the car was a gas-guzzler and the house as white and cold as a hospital.
He’s trying to see the bright side, but is a pragmatist. Hopefully the reader identifies with this feeling.

He grunted in frustration and sat up straighter in the leather desk chair. The party tonight had him riled, and he needed to get over it. Which was why he’d driven into the city, to get a vision of the office in its Saturday relaxed attitude. Everyone expected him to show up on Monday, but he wanted to get a bead on the inner workings before he started meeting people at the party.
He’s always thinking, trying to do the unexpected to keep one step ahead of everyone else.

HER CINDERELLA COMPLEX (the book I JUST finished)

Absolute perfection. The most spectacular wedding Weed, California and its three thousand inhabitants had ever seen. The exact wedding Heather Tindall dreamed of while she waited eighteen long years for her chance to escape the tiny Northern California town.
Small town girl in the perfect wedding. How did she manage that?

The wedding details read like a who’s who of bridal magazines. Vera Wang designed the white wedding gown; Amsale did the petal pink bridesmaids dresses; the cake came from the bakery famous for bringing chocolate tiers en vogue; the florist had two books out; and the photographer already sold exclusive rights to the photos to People magazine. It didn’t look like she’d planned it all in two months. Why did she only have two months to plan it? And where did she get the money to fund such an occasion?

So why did she feel like a tsunami was about to hit? Her doubts begin to swirl.

No one knew none of it was real. No one would ever know. Sure, everyone had been surprised by how quickly things happened, but never doubted the story she fed them. No one, not even her three sisters already marching down the aisle realized Curtis Frye thought of her only as his personal assistant. Curtis Frye, one of People magazine’s most eligible bachelors for three years running, stood at the altar in the Kenneth Cole black tuxedo she’d ordered. He’d suggested wearing the Ralph Lauren he wore to most functions, but a simple reminder he’d allowed her carte blanche in planning the wedding and she’d scheduled him for a fitting. The same day she signed the contract. She's signed a contract to marry her boss, and everyone bought their story. Yet, in spite of the perfection, she doesn't seem happy.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for answering my challenge Jenna! I enjoyed these excerpts. Beginnings from the hero's point of view always grab my attention more, for some reason, and I know I am going to like Cameron. That fish-out-of-water situation does it for me.

KATZ said...

Hey Jenna - thanks for visiting my blog!

I was proud to be listed in the RJ finalists with you! :)

My RJ critique wasn't scary, but the author panelist was. LOL I've had critique partners like her - harsh know-it-all but trying to sound helpful. She is not my target demographic, since she has a very strong, dark, almost vulgar style of erotica writing, and so she really didn't get my lighthearted modx love story at all. It's okay though - there were a few useful suggestions. :)

Anonymous said...

hehehe, I played along with y'all.

Julie S said...

This is a very cool thing to do. Cool excerpt!

Ally Blake said...

Hey Jenna!

I'm with Julie, I looove beginnings in hero's POV. It comes naturally to me for some reason. And to you, for sure.

There is something kind of sharp, and cool about Cameron that I really like. And I have discovered in the past day that for me the first page is all about character rather than conflict!

But I've never really thought about it before. Thanks to Julie I'm thinking about it now!

(Mine is up now at http://allyblake.blogspot.com)