I dunno...

As perfect as my princess is, she doesn't sleep. It's driving me mad, and causing quite the wear and tear on my body and mind. I've been trying to write the same chapter for two weeks and I have a collection of health conditions that would all improve if I'd sleep for more than two hours at a time. Which I haven't done in a year.

So, in the name of sleep, I'm reading a bunch of get your baby to sleep books. The ones that worked for BigBoy (Self-Calming Baby) and BabyBoy (The Happiest Baby on the Block) don't work for PrincessGirl. The Sleepeasy Solution means checking in with them verbally as they try to sleep -- PrincessGirl does not appreciate being mocked. Better Sleep made me feel better, some kids have actual problems, while her Nocturnal Eating Syndrome and Sleep-Onset Association Disorder were likely caused by the six months of viruses she had to endure. OK. But no real soultion. The Sleep Lady wants us to sit in a chair and pat her, but not pick her up, gradually moving the chair each night.

Um...how is taunting the girl with your presence but not picking her up supposed to teach her to soothe? I tried it at nap time, and WOAH. She was not a fan.

All the books talk about consistency, which we couldn't do because of how constantly she was sick. Now, we want her to sleep. We do not want to get up. But we don't want her to cry so hard she'll puke and cause both of us to have to get up (one to change the bedding and clean, one to clean the fussed baby). Nor do we want the boys to be woken up.

Once I'm done reading The Sleep Lady it's on to Healthy Sleep Habits. I'm beginning to wish SuperNanny came just for nights. But then, with my Dirty Carpet Anxiety, I wouldn't let the crew in the house.