Wednesday, February 08, 2017

The Billionaire's Runaway Fiancée - How 'Bout That Title?

I learned so many thing while the Lovely Editor and I reworked Her Cinderella Complex into The Billionaire's Runaway Fiancée. SO MANY!

  • My writing has improved like whoa.
  • It's stupid hard to change a character's name. 
  • Commercial real estate is a crazy lucrative business. 
  • A fiancé is a man; fiancée is a woman.
  • Only editors know this. And Amazon. Go on, search for The Billionaire's Runaway Fiancé - you need the extra e to find it.
  • The easiest way to make the é thing is to Google fiancé then copy & paste. 
  • A copyeditor can enter eleventy billion semi-colons into your mss, and you have to pick them out one by one. Like burrs. 
  • Adding extra scenes is so much fun! And reader driven. Yes, I do keep those emails. 
  • I remember the story in books, not how much sex is in it. Hot damn.
  • I need to bring Mrs. Rutledge into more of the Invested In Love books. I like her. And Delia.
  • Maybe I'll just spin off Curtis' whole family. Find the original Jason Frye. 

I am sure there are more. But I started to wander at the end there. Probably because I wanted to share an excerpt and haven't done it yet. Let's get to it, shall we?

The Billionaire's Runaway Fiancée

The water lapped at Robyn’s body like a hypnotic haze, soothing her desire, drawing out her every sensual reaction. Nearly weightless, she stared up at him, his light eyes shining an intense aquamarine that punctuated the hunger in his gaze. He stood above her, so big, male, and mesmerizing she couldn’t take her eyes off him. His defined chest with a fine spray of dark hair trailing over his flat stomach and lower… She dragged her gaze back up his body, meeting his eyes once more. The only thing that would make him look better would be if he were dripping wet.

She floated back a little to cooler water. She was deep under the spell of the sensations of the currents pushing around her, reacting to her every movement, luxuriating in the arousal.

“You should join me.”

“I will.” He looked at the far end of the pool, then back at her.

“What are you waiting for?”

“I’m trying to think of the best way to get in.”

“What is it? Can’t you swim?” She splashed at him playfully, slightly worried she might have hit the mark.

“Oh, that’s how it is?” He smiled down at her, warm and wicked. He took one step back, then cannon balled into the pool, sending water flying everywhere. Robyn ducked down to avoid the spray, but Curtis beat her beneath the surface, his hands on either side of her face as he pulled her to him, and they met in an underwater kiss.

She gave herself over to the exhilaration, their bodies floating together as their mouths met without friction. Breaking the kiss, he released her, leaving her alone to break the surface.

She swam to where she could anchor her feet on the pool floor, her head and neck above water. She’d made a silly list of fifty things to do in her life back in college, and kissing under water was right below skinny-dipping in the moonlight. She hadn’t thought of the list in years, until he was kissing her, making her wishes come true. Two for two on the day.

Water slid off her hair, across her face, as she tried to find her bearings. This felt real, yet maybe it was a vivid dream. The items on the list sped through her mind.

Fall madly in love. She was crazy to be in love with him, that’s for sure.

Have a fairy-tale wedding. Almost got that one, too.

Water rippled behind her, warning her before Curtis was there, sliding up her body so close she could feel the heat coming off him without his even touching her. One large hand snaked around her middle, pulling her back against him, so near she felt every muscle of his hard body....SHOOT. HAVE TO PG THIS PART.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he whispered against her ear, nuzzling her neck.

“You didn’t.” Her hand drifted down, against his firm thigh, the sparse hair the only friction between them. “I just remembered something.”

“What?” He peppered her neck and shoulder with hot kisses, the warmth moving down her body, anticipation building between her thighs.

“I made a list of things I want to do.”

“Am I on it?”

She couldn’t help but laugh, looking through the water to watch his hands drift up her body until ...AND HERE TOO

“Am I the only thing on it?”

“You are so arrogant.” His laugh vibrated the water around them, turning her desire up another degree. “I wrote it before we met, in college. I haven’t thought of it since.”

She couldn’t stifle a moan as he ...OOPS. ANOTHER ONE She rested her head back against his shoulder, letting him support her before she continued.

“Skinny-dipping in the moonlight was on the list, but I didn’t think of it until you kissed me underwater.”

“I didn’t think it would take my breath away. We can try it again tomorrow. Right now I’m too worked up.” SO, YOU KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW “Forget everything. It will be there tomorrow.”

He was right. Reality never left, but fantasy was fleeting. “I wanted to kiss in the rain, too, and beneath a waterfall.”

She turned easily in his embrace, the water making her slippery and slick. Her arms went naturally around his neck, his chest hair teasing her beaded nipples as she pressed against him. He took her lips between his, capturing them in a heated, promising kiss. She barely noticed as he lifted her up, her feet drifting as he moved them to the side of the pool, pressing her up against the wall. He pulled his lips away, taking her CURTIS IS A FILTHY BEAST
“I wanted to make love in a pool.”

He grinned, wicked and dark, before dipping his head to run his tongue THIS GUY IS MESSING WITH MY EXCERPT

“And on the beach.”


“And in the rain.”

Again he rewarded her with more attention, more pleasure.

“A bed of roses.”

She tried desperately to remember the list, to keep the pleasure coming at a steady stream. “On a train. Under the stars.” She writhed against his onslaught. “On a yacht. A rooftop. On the grass.”

Oh sweet heaven, he switched CURTIS, WOULD YOU EASE UP She closed her eyes and envisioned all the places she’d ever wanted to knock him to the ground and take him.

“On your desk.” The moaning need in her voice must belong to someone else. “In your bed.”

“Yours is better.” He barely moved, the tension swirling deep in her belly.

“It is?”

“Trust me.” He played OKAY, SERIOUSLY DUDE “Is that all?” he asked, barely letting up. “Because we can have all that done before the end of the week.”

Think. It was nearly impossible when she was about to come undone. “On the kitchen table.”

“In every room of that house.”

“There are twenty-seven rooms in that house.” She ROBYN IS A HORNY TOAD TOO. .

“It will barely take the edge off.” His hand slithered down her body, cupping her SO MAYBE THIS WASN'T A GOOD CHOICE FOR AN EXCERPT

He had a point. She had nearly a year of frustration to work out. The house was just the beginning. “On a trampoline.”

He released her BLEEP BLEEP, straightening up. “Where do we get a trampoline?”

She was not thinking logically just now. “I was fantasizing.”

He shook his head. “This is a planning session. You want love, Robyn, we’ll make it.”

Copyright © 2017 Jenna Bayley-Burke
All rights reserved — Entangled Publishing

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